Procrastinating

Ok so I’m freaking out all over again. AHHHHHHHHHHH. When am I going to stop freaking out and actually do what I should be doing in the first place to stop freaking out!?

I need to get a good score on the DAT to get into dental school. I should’ve not been procrastinating this much because then I would’ve already taken the DAT, I would know my score, and if it wasn’t a good one then I could’ve retaken it already. Then applying to dental school wouldn’t be a waste! Argghh

So I need to quit the procrastination, get my shit together, and stop whining about it already.

I do think that part of my procrastination is that I am setting myself up for failure. What in my college social pysch classes we called something but I already forget. don’t you hate that, you used to know something but now you forget? Well if I had just taken the DAT when I knew all this then I wouldn’t have to re-learn it all. Ugh.

Well I guess I’ll go clean my room, and then maybe get around to studying.

Half Marathon, Just do it!

So I've decided that I want to try and run a half marathon. It is going to be October 10th in Baltimore. I really think it will be hard to do, but so empowering at the end.

I think "running a marathon" is one of those things that everybody has on their list of things to do in life, but usually never get around to doing it. It will be so awesome to actually do it, instead of just talking about it.

I just think, Nobody is holding me back from doing this except myself. I think that running this will help me

• get back into shape
• give me motivation
• prove to myself that I have self confidence
• prove that i have self discipline

I'll feel like "if i can run a half marathon, then i can do anything!"

Mind over Mood

My OCD, making schedules for myself, is it really helping me, or just helping me cope?

Mom bitching, the haircut

Looking back one year post Elon

So its been a year since I graduated college, and I'm dedicating this blog to looking back on how much I've done and accomplished because I seem to forget how hard I am working and how much I really am getting done, despite the fact that I keep beating myself up for not being where I want to be.

So in a nutshell, I graduated Elon University May 2008 with a BA in Psychology (I wish it was a BS but they didn't have BS for psych) and a minor in Biology (my first major, but hated the people in the major, and didn't really feel the need to major in it because I was taking all the pre-dental pre-reqs anyways. ) I really wished I had double majored, I was only 2 classes away, but how I saw it, Dental schools will see all the courses I took anyways, and you only get one degree/diploma anyways. The secondary major doesn't get written on the paper you frame, go figure. In retrospect, I wished I had taken more psychology classes, I loved the professors, and I loved what I learned. I still like to read up on psychology. I also think that I learned more from Dr. Leupold in the 3 classes I took with him about research than I did in all my bio/science classes. He really taught me how to critically think, read, and evaluate research papers, and for that matter any other "fact" that you have been told, or any other claim you hear. Its a good skill to have.

So my GPA, ugh. If I could go back and re-do college, I would have studied harder. I seriously thought that I was studying hard, but I was barely studying at all. I got the hang of it junior/senior year. However, I just think of if I had taken my classes more seriously when I was in my fresh/soph year, my GPA would've been amazing.

My cumulative GPA was a 3.173....I round that to a 3.2 (and after re-taking organic chem and getting an A the summer of 2008, it makes me feel a little bit better!)

So #1, my accomplishment, I GOT AN A IN ORGANIC CHEM! that was amazing. I studied my ass off (since I finally learned how). Seriously, it was an accomplishment and I need to remember that.

How did I do it? well I guess it was just studying. Also, my professor, Dr. Discordia was amazing. So to break it down, how to study:

1. read the syllabus, it is your life
2. put dates/hw/reading/exams in your calendar
3. read the material BEFORE class
4. go to class and

• have a coffee so you dont fall asleep

• sit in the front row (I see better that way, and also you dont fall asleep, and are not distracted by other students)

• PAY ATTENTION, this includes taking notes (seriously, you think you'll remember what the prof is saying, but you forget, so write it down)

1. When you get home, go over your notes, re-read them, then take notes on them in a neat format if they are messy, highlight the important parts, make flash cards of the important parts
2. Do your homework. if its assigned, or the reading for the next class
3. Study BEFORE the weekend before the exam. Seriously. you have to study EVERYNIGHT if you want to learn, retain, and get an A.
4. Ask questions when you dont understand. Many times you'll think you understand, and you ask a question, and you were right! But then there are times, when you'll ask the question and realize, wow, I had that all wrong.
5. Lastly, get good sleep, excercise, eat healthy. You have to do this, its key!
6. One day at a time, don't get overwhelmed. This will only lead to procrastination and self-defeating thought.

So I hope i can keep this up, I think its a great thing I finally mastered it, thank god b/c I'll need it in dental school. I still need to work on procrastination though. If I can master that, I'll be golden

Anyone who has any study tips, please feel free to comment!

So accomplishment #2: Taking classes and getting certified in radiographs, and soon, becoming a QDA (qualified dental assistant). Although classes at the MSDA were a little bit painful, I really did learn a lot about dentistry, and gained an edge in the workplace. Although i feel kinda stupid working as a dental assistant having a Bachelors degree (because educationally I'm overqualified) I am getting great experience in the dental field. So why were classes at the MSDA painful? Here go the bullet points...

• Dr. Holderman spend about 75% of the time lecturing about how everyone in the class was not going to study, and only 25% of the time lecturing about course content. It was a little degrading going from a university where eductation was the main goal, and self teaching was an expectation, to a class full of students, whose only requirement was a GED or high school diploma, and the expecatation was just not to fail. I did learn a couple life lessons being in that humbling situation.
• Sometimes people in that class were so stupid it hurt! Seriously, they would ask legitimately dumb questions. Sometimes I think the students raised their hands and spoke, just to hear themself speak. There is truth to that "there is no such thing as a dumb question" but wow, these girls pushed it.
• The classes were 3 hours long each night (and so with that 3:1 ratio, meant we actually only used 45 minutes of class time for actual learning). Dr. H would casually stroll in 10 minutes late (which was fine, I liked that I had that time to get settled, plus he was coming in from Bethesda). Then we could sit around and chat, then he'd bitch about us not studying....on and on, enough already. Ugh I got to the point where i felt like I was wasting my time. It sucked because when Dr. H was actually lecturing, it was really good information.
  
• I did notice a divided between americans and immigrants in that class. I had a couple of class mates from russia, and one, a dentist from a cental american nation (cant remember, maybe brazil?). They did not ask dumb questions, and in fact were smarter than most, and even were taking this class in their second, or maybe third language, props to them!

Another humbling situation, working at weis. I guess my accomplishment #3, realizing when to say NO, and that my time is valuable. Lets just say I'm going to need another blog to explain all the bullshit about my job at Weis. In short, it was very humbling for a recent college grad to work at a deli in a cheap supermarket with other what I'll call "lower white class" individuals during an economic slump. Read more on my Weis blog soon to come.

#4. I ran up a credit card debt, realzing how much credit card debt sucks, and starting to pay it off. Its very easy to get into debt, another humbling thing, realizing your smart, but not smart enough to stay out of credit card debt. Luckily, I only reached about $3,000 at my peak, and have half of it already paid off. I however took steps to lower my spending, including getting rid of the fancy blackberry, and got the job at weis to make extra money. I think it would have been more responsible in the first place to never work up that little bit of debt, but if I look at it as a life lesson, now I realize how every little purchase counts. I since made a little budget for myself, and once I get 100% debt free, I will NEVER be in debt again. I'm making that a promise to myself. The only other time I'll have a debt will be to the military, to pay back my service for the dental eductation. So how am I going to do this?

• Keep to my buget, and know my means
• Keep extra money in my savings for when I go over a little (because its going to happen) or for any emergencies
• Don't waste my money. Big wasters: buying things not on sale, paying bank fees, throwing money on a big purchase I dont need, going out to eat when I can cook for myself.

I've learned that waiting for things pays off. For example, I really want a new computer, or new furnature, etc. If i go out and get that now, sure I could, put it in on my credit card. I think however if i just wait, it will be so much sweeter. Why? because I waited for it, and knew i really wanted it. Because I saved up, and new I was spending "on purpose", and because its that time in my life when i'm supposed to have it (ex: wedding gifts, etc).

This hopefully can be applied towards other areas in life, BOYS. I'm hoping that "good things comes to those who wait" is true, because I've been looking but havent found anybody.

which brings me to accomplishment #5: I started dating. See my other blog posts about this, In short, I came to realize that I respect myself, and that I'm done with the college "hookup" (although they were fun! :) ) and that I'm ready to get over the petty bullshit that I thought was "love" in highschool. I'm ready for a serious relationship, and I'm worth it. A couple influences on this mindset are

• my friends breakups, getting back together, breakups, etc
• the book and movie, hes just not that into you
• Bethenny from the real desp. housewives of NYC (i think the show is fabulous, totally unrealistic and catty, but terribly entertaining!)
• realizing my mom's relationship with my dad was bullshit from the start (my own conclusion)
• seeing carolyn get happily married, and soon to have a baby!

#6:a woman of the working world . I'll have to blog later about this more, but I have learned a lot about the workplace. I'm so happy that I had this expereince working in the dental office. I have come to learn that working with people everyday is challenging. some days are great, some days suck. personalities are always hard to deal with, but if you just don't take yourself so seriously, try and have a good, positive attitude, work harder than you think you can, and always be thinking for the "team" you can do well.

#7 realtionships
I really think I've succded on my relationship with my sister, we've gotten closer, and I've become able to use her as a support network.
My mom on the other hand, I'll just say it needs work.
I have kept up great realtionship with my friends, atleast those who are close by. I must say that I don't know what I'd do with out my girls. They are my rock, they keep me in check, they are there for me when I need to bitch, and give me entertainment. I love you girls!

So I think thats about it so far, I'll be sure to think of something else later, and I'll add to the list!

Online Dating: Date #4 Mysterious Mike, Does he actually exist?

Online Dating: Date #3 Mark

Online Dating: Date #2 Brendan